Friday, 16 April 2010

To Russia Without Love Redux

The case of the 7-year-old little Russian boy who was sent back as unwanted is, in a sad way, very interesting and eye-opening.

Artur Lukyanov (I prefer this version of phonetic transcription), the man who was hired to pick him up at the airport has a blog, which is worth reading. If his English is really self-taught (as the saying goes), it's remarkable. In an interview with CNN, Lukyanov tells how he had stumbled once before across a Russian-American adoption disastrously gone wrong.
Several years ago, he said he was hired by an American couple by the last name of Pavlis.

"They just wanted to see some sites," Lookyanov recalled. "They also asked me to drive them to a hospital to pass an adoption examination for their boy."

Lookyanov said he spent two days working with Irma and Dino Pavlis. He said he took them and their adopted Russian son Alex to McDonald's and ate with them.

"Two months after I saw them in Moscow... I learned that by accident this boy died," Lookyanov said.

A month after the adoption, six-year old Alex was dead due to blunt force trauma to the head, news reports at the time said. There was evidence that his adoptive mother had punched him in the stomach.

A court sentenced Irma Pavlis to 12 years in prison for manslaughter. She reportedly served five.

Lookyanov's brushes with failed adoptions have left him reeling, physically shaking as he discussed the cases.
There are additional details in the Internet:
Less than two months after his arrival, Alex Pavlis' promising life ended tragically. The 6-year-old was beaten to death by his adopted mother [sic!].

Irma Pavlis, 34, of Schaumburg, Ill., was convicted of involuntary manslaughter in the December 2003 death. During her trial, she said she loved the boy but that he was mentally unstable and suicidal. Although she recently was sentenced to 12 years in prison, the repercussions of the case continue, both in the United States and in Russia.
Yeah, no doubt she "loved" the boy. I guess that's an "Illinois mom" to the American media, to whom no detail is ever too cheesy or too cynical.

But back to the case of little Artyom, which is full of fishy details, which may be, or may be not, attributable to lousy journalism. For one, is it so easy to get a 7-year-old Unaccompanied Minor on an international 10-hour-flight? His Russian passport, on which he allegedly travelled, was in a sealed envelope in his backpack. He couldn't speak Russian. Did he forget all of it during the seven odd months in America? He couldn't write, which implies that he wasn't numerate either. How could he then attack his "aunt" when she asked him to correct his maths? Did they teach him just maths and not how to write? So the adoptive "mother" sought advice from psychologists but never arranged for the boy to meet one? The adoption agency contacted the woman in March when everything seemed to be fine with the child. She then even expressed wishes to adopt a second child. The ten-year old boy Logan is sometimes refered to as Hansen's child, then again as her sister's child.

I guess for some time to come I'll will be quite sick at the sound of words and idioms like "I don't want to judge", "love", "mother", "mom", "I can empathize with", "wants to have a family/child", "my heart goes out", "our thoughts and prayers", "tragic", "heartbreaking" and some more.


Universal Realist said...

Excellent post!

There are a lot of questions involved in this case.

They return the child as if it was a defected piece of merchandise. This is a human not a TV.

I feel if you adopt you are to take this child and treat it as your own blood child. If your blood child developed mental issues or emotional issues I believe most normal parent would go to any length to get them help. So I would expect an adoptive parent to do the same.

I don’t want to hear about this family having financial issues. I’m sure they had to spend money to adopt and travel in Russia.

I mean this sounds more like a person adopting a dog from a dog rescue or an animal shelter. If the dog ends up being too much to handle, then just take it back to the shelter. But this is not a dog it’s a child.

I’m not against adoptions but today because the level of drug use and in most cases adoptive parents don’t know the health or mental history of the child’s blood parents. So people need to be sure about what they're doing and they should spend as much time with child as possible before adopting. Adoption can be risky thing but I still believe an adoption is a good and vital thing that should be done.

The_Editrix said...

This doesn't speak against adoptions, not even against adoptions from Russia (although I am not amazed that so many go wrong). This speaks against adoption by single women. I repeat my question: Do you believe that this adoption had SO HORRIBLY gone wrong with a traditional married couple of (male) husband and (female) wife instead of this mess of a woman and her mother?

Universal Realist said...

I repeat my question: Do you believe that this adoption had SO HORRIBLY gone wrong with a traditional married couple of (male) husband and (female) wife instead of this mess of a woman and her mother?

First to be totally honest I see things in America that has made me believe that Americans are getting nuttier. So there’s not much that shocks or surprise me anymore about what people will do. There are plenty of traditional married couples in America who are a mess, the Balloon Boy’s family comes to mind.

So if it’s traditional married couple is based what I considered mentally healthy vs. this mess of a woman. Well then I believe the couple would have handled it totally different. They would have not shipped the kid back to Russia. They would have gotten the kid help. A healthy couple supports each other through difficult times. And if the kid turned out to be a crazy psychopath and the healthy couple felt they were duped by the Russians. I believe they would have personal escorted the child back to Russia and not do what that woman did and just put him on a plane alone.

Now I don’t know why this single woman wanted to adopt a child. It could guess it was some kind of self-center need to be a mother. But a mentally healthy couple would have probably had long discussion with each other as well with family and friends. I would assume the couple’s decision would be more based on wanting to be a family and not just being a mother or father.

Now on the other hand like I said I’ve seen plenty of couples that are a mess and they should never have kids. Yet seen single people male and female who are or would make great parents even single.

The_Editrix said...

Yes, I am sure even a few homosexual couples would make excellent parents. That doesn't change the basic human concept of the family, which means a man and a woman and child(ren). That doesn't change either the female nature. To quote myself: Women simply don't have the moral fibre, strength, reliability, integrity, maturity and devotion to be trusted with the sole care for a child. It's bad enough what only too many of them, specifically but not exclusively, if on their own, are doing to their birth children, so it's sheer and utter madness to indulge their whim "to have a family" and let them adopt. If they are unable to form a stable relationship with a man, how can they be trusted to form one with a child?

The Female Misogynist makes an excellent point.